Throwback Thursday: Discovering Me Prologue

This I did not actually write that long ago, about a year ago I think. It is the prologue and basically explains the premise of a book I am trying to write. Darn law school keeps getting in the way =) But I graduate on Saturday!!!!! I do hold this piece a little more dear to me, but I would love opinions as to the writing and/or the idea in general. Thank you for any constructive criticism.

Discovering Me Prologue

          
            Breathe.

            I peek around the curtain to see into the house of the auditorium, scanning the crowd. I find Athena, Leo, and Albie in the second row a little off to the right, but no him. Where is he? Leo spots me peeking, smiles, and gives me a double thumbs up as he nudges Athena, who begins waving spastically. Albie, who I can see chuckling at the other two even from back stage, gives me a simple one sweep wave with a small smile on his face. He’ll be here. Breathe.

            “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,” Curie Kingsley, Albie’s mom and one of the city’s liaisons, addresses the audience taking center stage. “As you are all aware for a member of the Elite Caste to graduate from their studies and begin work in their area of choice, the Elite member must present to the city their first significant discovery which must be approved by a committee of qualified Elites.” Breathe. I should have just read the paper to him there and then, or given him a copy at least.

“Today we have one of our most promising up and coming Elites presenting.” Curie smiles over at me in the wings. She thinks she’s being comforting. Ha! “Her areas of study are more numerous and broad than most, covering primarily psychology, psychiatry, sociology, archeology, anthropology, and a little neurology. I know. She never was good at making decisions.”  The audience laughs. If only I thought it was funny. Breathe.  

“Now without further ado, I am proud to welcome Antigone Lace to the stage for her graduation discovery presentation.” Applause roars through the auditorium. Curie exits as I head towards the podium center stage where she had been.

            Breathe. One foot in front of the other. Look up! Smile! Breathe. Begin.

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” This. I’d do this. Look up! Stronger. Louder. “What would you do if you knew you could not fail? A question originally posed by famous American Pastor Robert H. Schuller. Later the question would inspire Sophia Randolph to create the Randoplh Aptitute Dectecting Scanner, or the RAD Scan.” Breathe. “Over a century ago, it changed our world forever. The RAD Scan can determine as early as the first day of a person’s life what said person could be guaranteed to achieve, the maximum of their potential if correctly applied.” There are so many eyes. All staring at me! “The country in an attempt to improve both efficiency and level of achievement began using this device to separate each child into a group of those with similar capabilities called castes. Each city was divided into a series of sectors, one for each caste. The children are nurtured in whatever manner is required to make the most of the talents that the RAD Scan guaranteed.” Twenty-four seats per row. Thirty rows. Twenty in the balcony. “Since switching to this way of life, the country has produced more philosophers like Aristotle, more scientists like Isaac Newton, more artists like Picasso, and more saints like Mother Teresa than have existed across the entire span of history.” 1,200 people. Approximately fifteen people standing. 1,215 people. Two eyes each assumedly. “While separating the castes has cause some distance between the groups, there is no tension.” 2,430 eyes. “Only great peace has existed since the systems implementation.” All on me! Where the hell is he?! Breathe. “What would you do if you knew you could not fail? It’s an expression meant to free the world’s possibilities. That is what it did for Sophia Randolph. That is what Sophia Randolph meant to do with the RAD Scan. But…” Dark blue eyes. There he is. I said smile not goofy grin. Deep breath. “But the expression, this way of life, has slowly become a cage, a limitation on our dreams…”

                Here goes nothing.

Throwback Thursday: Death of an Actor

This is a poem I wrote for my creative writing class in undergrad, so I was about 18 or 19...

Death of an Actor

I lay in my childhood bed in peaceful slumber.

I dream,

The curtains move along their chains.

The bright stage lights warm my skin.

Act well your part

for there all the honor lies.

I feel the applause wash over me.

The end comes

with surprising ease and excitement.

---

With surprising ease and excitement,

the end comes.

I feel the applause wash over me

for there all the honor lies.

Act well your part.

The bright stage lights warm my skin.

The curtains move along their chains.

I dream,

I lay in my childhood bed in peaceful slumber. 

All the world’s a stage

in life and in death.

The Winner’s Curse by Marie Rutkoski Review

“A rich emotion played across his features, offered itself, and asked to be called by its name.

Hope.” – The Winner’s Curse

My Synopsis: This is a star crossed lovers story. Kestrel’s father is a famous, big shot general in the conquering country, Valoria, where war and honor are everything. Arin, now a slave, was a citizen of Herran before the Valorians invaded and presented its people with the choice of death or becoming slaves. Volorian tradition requires all women by the age of 20 to either join the military or marry. At 17, Kestrel is too independent for marriage and wants no part of the military. She’d rather just play the piano which is very taboo because music was something the Herrian people valued. Although Kestrel personally loathes the idea owning another person, on an impulse she can not really explain she ends up purchasing Arin at an auction on the streets of Herran. Arin hates all Valorians on principle, but the General is literally from his nightmares, so his distaste for Kestrel is particularly potent. That is until they actually get to know each other of course. =) But Arin isn’t just any slave…

                I really, really, REALLY liked this book. I had a very odd reaction at the end of the book. When I sat there and was reflecting on the story, I couldn’t think of any part that just really stood out to me. While a lot of things happened in the book, a lot seemed to happen off stage. After a lot of thinking, I figured it out. There is action in this book, plenty, but the thing is when there was action the scene wasn’t about the action. It was about the betrayal or the honor or the love, etc. It was about the people and their emotions no matter what the action level was, which brings me to what I loved about this book.

                I LOVED these characters. I loved the romance. Now the romance was predictable BUT it was real. It was not insta-love, but hard-won love.  And not just won from the other person, but winning the battle against themselves to love the other. The characters were incredibly well developed. They existed outside of the story. There were characteristics of the characters that played no role in the story other than being part of the character, and I liked that. It was real. Honestly, the book was all around good, but the characters are what sold me. The story could have been horrible (it wasn’t though) and I would still pick up the next book just so I could spend more time with Kestrel and Aron. It is just amazing how you can see so clearly their hearts, their minds, who they are that you are sitting there reading and not knowing who the heck you are rooting for. Even when you pick a country (Herran or Valoria), you hate the idea of that side winning because of how it effects the other person! This book really exemplifies why I could never be in the military. While there may be a truly evil person on the other side, 90% of the soldiers on the ground are really just fighting for what they believe in whether you or I personally believe it is right or not, and they all have families at home praying to whichever god they believe will answer for their safe return.  I understand war can sometimes be necessary. I think it was necessary in this book, but you get to feel that conflict because you have 2 characters in the exact same position on opposite sides of a war, both of whom you fall in love with.

                Quickly on the writing, I loved it. I thought the display of emotions was beautiful. The way the characters would sometimes, often really, refuse to recognize or name an emotion because they wanted to ignore it was real and poetic. Like I said before the romance was pretty predictable, but despite the fact I knew what the characters really felt for each other, some of my favorite moments were the moments when the characters were shocked by the realization of their feelings. The scenes were written as if the character’s stream of thought was a street and the realization an unseen pot hole. They just stumbled into the realization suddenly and unexpectedly. I could almost hear the characters gasp when it hit them. It was just written perfectly, very real. 4, nearly 5, stars.

Can NOT wait until the next book. I'm pretty sure it is going to be even better. =)

Video review coming soon...

Rebel Belle By Rachel Hawkins Review

“If by ‘graciously volunteered,’ you mean ‘was threatened and coerced,’ then yes, I did.” – Rebel Belle

My Synopsis: Cheerleader, president of everything, Homecoming Queen, and true southern belle Harper Price is suddenly a magically super warrior with a sworn obligation to protect none other than her high school enemy and rival, David Stark. Neither wants the roles they have been dealt, but neither can walk away. Because of destiny, a word both begin to hate, or because of emerging feeling about each other, only time will tell. Until then craziness, cotillion, prophecy research, and history teachers wielding swords create a hilarious, yet surprisingly relatable story ensue.

                Most of my complaints about this book are personal pet peeves. First, I hate the valley girl, Patty Simcox, ‘like,’ ‘you know’, ‘ew!’ voice. It is a personal thing because I was that girl in high school. Cheerleader, student body president, homecoming court etc. and I get unreasonably insulted when fictional characters in similar positions have this stereotypical tone. However, this became less of a thing as the book went on and came to a more realistic and true to character level. My only complaint that others may agree is that Harper jumped to “I must have superpowers” a little quick to me. It happens in a lot of books where characters jump to the needed conclusions a lot faster than any reasonable person would in real life. Not that I think that Harper reacted necessarily inappropriately when she came to the conclusion, she just stopped looking for other more reasonable or does not defy laws of physics etc. explanations for what happened. Further, I though David’s reaction to every discovery was very realistic.

                But those are all my complaints. I really liked this book. I usually go for darker fiction, but this book is a great light version of the books I usually read. To be clear, it was not overly light. It was more than just fluff and rainbows. It definitely has some sad, serious stuff, but everything is dabbed with humor which honestly is probably how a lot of people would react to sad, serious stuff in their lives, and definitely how a lot of people would respond to this kind of craziness in their life.

                As I said earlier, I was basically Harper when I was in school, so I can say that I really think (after the valley girl-ish beginning) she was very real and spot on. I found her very relatable. A lot of the choices she made, I thought were spot on for what a real teenage girl in that situation would make. In books, the main character, while usually flawed in some way, is usually very honorable and selfless.  Ex. Katniss, Tris, etc. One of my favorite things was that Hawkins wasn’t afraid to let Harper be a little selfish and spoiled. She wants her own life and not to give it up for someone else. That is true for any real teenager, particularly that girl, president of everything etc.

                The ending. I obviously do not want to spoil anything, but let’s just say a new player gets added to David and Harper’s team that I think is going to add a very interesting dynamic in the next book. Also, the closing scene and line, I thought, were perfect. Everything in this story was wrapped up, but the next story in the series was prompted, and I want it NOW.  Please and thank you. =)

Video review coming soon...

Searching for Sky by Jillian Cantor Review

“I think about the island, and I wonder if it’s possible, if you can ever really go back to a place you’ve left behind.” – Searching for Sky

My Synopsis: This book is basically part II of all the Blue Lagoon movies, but with a slight twist. Sky has lived on Island for as long as she can remember. It was just her, her mother, River, and Helmet, but it has just been her and River for the last year. Each has their own jobs and enjoys their lives. To Sky, her and River, Falls and Shelter, Rocks and Fishing Cove, Island is all there is. Until a boat comes. Sky and River are separated, and Sky must learn the truth of her past and learn to deal with her present in a world much bigger than the only universe she’s ever known.

                First, I gave this book, a contemporary 5 stars. It is a story I have been wanting to read or watch since I first saw the first Blue Lagoon movie. And Jillian Cantor did not just give you what you wanted to hear. She told a real and honest story. She was not afraid to make you mad or make you cry. I mean I LOVED this book…until the last page which thoroughly confused the heck out of me. It had me wondering if there was supposed to be a sequel. (Not that I would mind a sequel. Would actually welcome one greatly.) It wasn’t so much a cliff hanger as it was the start of another story. More accurately it was either the start to another story or a poorly executed metaphor for hope.

NOT ragging on Cantor writing. I loved it. First, read the above quote. Very pretty, but realistic, not flowery language. Further, I loved seeing how Sky’s voice changed as she learned about our world. Even better was how Sky’s voice stayed the same despite what she learned. Just if the last page was suppose to be symbolic or some sort of metaphor… it did not come across clearly. So was it symbolic or literal? I would really like to ask the author… I have chosen to simply ignore the existence of the last page because unless it is literal and there will be a sequel, it really does not affect the story, so… 5 stars! =)

The best part of the book was Sky’s relateblity or realness. You can feel Sky’s frustration, and as Sky was yelling at the people around her, whether in her head or out loud, I was yelling right alongside her. I was so frustrated with everyone! I began to agree with her that everyone here in society was cold and a skeleton. You really saw the world through her eyes. What would you think of stairs if you had never seen any? What would you call a car if no one told you its name?

Warning: You will cry. Cantor is not scared to rip your heart out or make you scream at people’s stupidity. And she does it well because you will fall helplessly in love with every one of her characters even when they are being idiots.

This book has not yet been released. I received an ebook ARC from netgalley. Searching for Sky will be released May 13, 2014. I will post a video review closer to release.

Throwback Thursday: What is normal?

I wrote this back in 2006, so I was 15... I think it was for an English class. I don't really remember all the details, but I enjoyed the topic. =)

What is Normal?

As children we aspire to stand out, but as teenagers we beg to blend in. We plead to be considered “normal” by mediocre standers. One question must be asked. What is “normal”?

            It is a mocking reality that we at tender ages could see what we are now blinded to. A kindergartener always has Mommy put her pretty picture on the refrigerator, but a teen plays dumb just so they won’t be labeled a “nerd”. It is as if we are born wise but allow ourselves to regress due to society’s stupidity.

            The wisdom from our childhood permitted us, consciously or not, to comprehend the complexity of normal through naïve eyes. As time passed, we learned the dictionary definition of normal and even allowed ourselves to put characteristics to it, but we let ourselves lose our innate insight in this intricate quality. What we perceived then that we are now ignorant to is that normal does not exist.

            We all can define it. We each can paint a picture of it. The question, though, is how many of these portraits will even resemble another. Since we all have unique images of what normal is, then whose is correct? Which normal is normal?

            Back when I was not much more than a rug rat like my favorite cartoon characters, when my gentle eyes were still glazed with innocence, I wanted red hair, auburn or strawberry blond to be exact. I wanted blue eyes, bright blue eyes the color of the sky. I wanted to be left handed. I wanted to be different.

            I blinked. Now I’m nineteen years old. My hair is now blonder not redder. My eyes are standard hazel. I’m still a righty. Even though I am fortunate enough not to have completely lost my immature views on things such as normal, I find myself conforming. I fight it. Normality can be viewed as a big black hole, not even light can escape it. You will lose yourself in it.

            We must regress in age to enhance in insight. Now look upon this mere utterance and see what is not there. Normal may be me, it may be you. It is an essence labeled by ones imagination.

            Normal can be defined as a setting on a washing machine or, as it is in Webster’s dictionary, conforming to the usual standard, type, or custom. Since every individual holds their own characterization of normal, giving it no standard, normal is ironically so very not normal.

Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira Review

“I mean, words can’t be good enough for a lot of things. But, you know, I guess we have to try.”  – Love Letters to the Dead

My Synopsis: Laurel lost her sister a few months ago and is now starting high school. A different high school than the one her sister went to because she doesn’t want people to know, doesn’t want them to ask questions because there are secrets that Laurel just can’t say aloud. Then Laurel’s English teacher gives her the assignment to write a letter to a dead person. Laurel writes to Kurt Cobain because her sister loved him, but she doesn’t turn it in. Instead, she continues to write to a whole cast of characters that died too soon. Through these letters (and with the help of some awesome friends with struggles of their own) Laurel tells her story and discovers life, love, and herself.

                        First let me say that I find that I am harder on contemporary books when it comes to the star system, so I gave this book a 4 out of 5 stars. I really liked this book. The fault that lead to a 4 instead of a 5 stars is that it did drag a bit every once in a while, but honestly that is to be expected in such an introspective, character driven book. The voice in this book is amazing. It had an emotional core that kept you attached to the characters, but at the same time all the events that happened were being told to a third party, the dead, which gave a unique perspective.

                        Another beauty to the letters was in who they were written to and who they were not written to. As Laurel discovers things about herself and her sister and the world, the letters begin to reveal more and more of what Laurel really wants to say, and it pulls at your heart strings as you, the reader, begin to release who she is really talking to even when Laurel still believes she is writing the Kurt or Jim Morrison or Judy Garland.

                        The friends in this book are amazing. They see everything that Laurel needs even before she knows she needs it. You will very easily fall in love with all her friends and be rooting for them in their own struggles. And first love. =) Of course, there is a first love. It is… real. All of the members of this little group are very real. They each have weaknesses and each have strengths. In the romance, in all the romances, you watch in frustration as their weaknesses pull them apart and back together and apart and back together again.  

                        Comparing Love Letters to the Dead to other books, I would say it is a mixture of Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky and Looking for Alaska by John Green. (May, Laurel’s sister, really reminds me of Alaska.) In other words, you will cry. A lot. 

        

            

            Video review here.